Do all men want the same thing?

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I’ve learned, in my somewhat short life, that the answer is a pretty resounding “no.”

And yet we still see examples of parents and grandparents claiming that being a feminist, or independent or anything else that is essentially ourselves, is going to keep us lonely and childless. For starters, men are as different from each other as women are and shouldn’t be lumped into one big stereotype any more than we should be. Not only should we not allow ourselves to be manipulated into changing ourselves for someone else, but we should remember that there a lot of kinds of men with a lot of preferences. I can’t stand this image of men where they all want demure women who they can control. I don’t know about you, but I know plenty of men that are not like that. All my friends are with men who love that they can’t be controlled. They enjoy not having to be a breadwinner on their own, not feeling like a meal ticket, and that their women surpass their ingrained expectations.

Why must people insist that either of the binary genders only likes or must be one thing each?

I’ve known women who would rather be the breadwinner, try to make more money than their husbands, and don’t want children too. Gender doesn’t prescribe what we want out of life. Society tells what we should want all the time, but it doesn’t stick as well in some as it does in others. The more we can erode images that lack individuality, the better we’ll be at identifying what we actually want, whether or not it’s stereotypical of our gender.

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself if you really wanted something that’s stereotypical of your gender and realize you didn’t really like that thing?


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2 thoughts on “Do all men want the same thing?

  1. This! Not all men are alike! As for the men who have a small enough imagination to like only what society tells them is socially acceptable for women to do… they’re not evil, but they’d be quite boring and unstimulating to a politically-minded feminist. And you deserve to have your mind stimulated more than they deserve to have a perfect lady who never questions social constructs. Women shouldn’t have to meet men more than halfway.

    • Thank you! I know they’re not bad guys, and I don’t even consider it their fault. People are entitled to like what they like. I just hate hearing people, usually older family members, perpetuate that idea that no man wants a woman “like that”. I’ve never had a problem and I’ve known plenty of men that hate the idea of the traditional woman. They’ve felt stifled and bored in the relationships that resembled tradition. But I know plenty that love it too. I just don’t understand why we let such gendered stereotypes persist the way they do. Why should everyone with a uterus like the same thing or everyone with testicles? Or why do we expect them to act alike? It doesn’t make sense to me.

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