Why do we profusely use the term “man-hater” and then denounce the validity of the word misandry?
I’ve seen that a large part of the problem with giving validity to misandry is that it is not “systemic” the way misogyny is still reputed to be. I have a bit of a problem with both of these ideas. One problem is that there are places that have systemic misandry, though they may not be many. These are industries and domains dominated by women. The man in the room is seen as a threat or as not a man in some way. He is disadvantaged by his gender alone. This is systemic misandry in those places. Examples are nursing and at-home dads. Male military spouses also get this treatment, whether they otherwise work or not. There is still an increasing number of facilities opening up for women only, which may or may not have legitimate reasons for their sole gendering. These things are misandric in practice, even when not intended to be. Many men even argue that the children’s court system is misandric, which is why it shows up as a tenet of almost every men’s rights issues list I saw last week.
On the other hand, misogyny is a word that gets thrown around a lot. Please don’t misunderstand, I do believe that both misogyny and misandry are grossly misused, but take a minute to look at #misandry and #misogyny on Twitter. You will find a great many ridiculous things. Most of them come down to simple bias and not hatred, which is what those words actually mean. They are not about a casual dislike or maltreatment. Misandry and misogyny are defined as hatred, mistrust, or extreme dislike for those genders. I don’t want to get too far into semantics, but it makes me a little skeptical when people use such extreme language and water down their implications. It distorts their meaning which then makes something as extreme as misandry or misogyny and makes it sound pretty mainstream. Man-hater gets thrown about just as much as misogyny. Both of these concepts have their realities, but they also have their misperceptions. The next thing I wanted to bring up is the perception that all feminists are man-haters and thereby misandrists. It is easy to overlook those of use who consider ourselves to be MRA allies or otherwise just don’t dislike or hate men in general. There are men that I do extremely dislike but it has nothing to do with their maleness. It has everything to do with their actions, just as all the women I extremely dislike.
Getting back to misandry, though. Misandry exists. It may not be systemic through all occupations or atmospheres, but it exists. Denying the existence of misandry is to ignore the actions of radical feminists and everyday man-haters. Men do experience ridicule, it is possible that some see it as often as women do. Their ridicule is radically different, and sometimes it’s not. They are expected to enjoy being objectified as if it was a rarity and a compliment, they are expected to never be a victim of a crime. They are expected to be okay with continuously being depicted as the bumbling dad who can’t make his kids dinner without destroying the house. They are expected to be okay with a draft system that continues to exist for only the male gender.
Misandry and sexism toward men is out there. They may not be obvious to their denouncers, but remember that misogyny and sexism toward women isn’t obvious to men.