Be the change


The change in the world that I would like to see happen is for people to accept that they can do these few simple things: 

  • own your decisions. it is your life and every decision in it was made by you, even if someone else convinced you to make the decision. it was ultimately yours. own it.
  • have an impossible dream and work for it. this can be anything from the next CEO of something to the best stay at home spouse anyone has ever seen. dream it and work to it.
  • don’t criticize someone else’s dream.
  • talk to the Daddy at the park too, he’s doing the same important job that the Mommies are doing.
  • don’t be crude unless you know it’s welcome or appropriate. there’s no place for it in professional settings. it’s not about which gender is present or whether a sibling or parent would approve of your statement. professionalism is really about the way you would want anyone to treat you if you were the customer.
  • don’t talk to your subordinates like they are your children. there’s no place for a mommy or daddy voice in the work place. be assertive, not a parent.
  • for those of us that are parents, realize that kids don’t care which parent does what. they want to see BOTH parents, EQUALLY. if you split the time lost between the parents equally, the kids can have a relationship with both. careers span lifetimes, which can be as long as 40 or 50 years of working. kids only stay in the house for half that time. is it really that big of a setback at work to maintain a good relationship with them in the parts of life when they need it?
  • for those without children and the bosses of both, treating the parents like they aren’t going to put in the time has a tendency to make them not want to do it. Making the work available to them has a better chance of getting things done.
  • the term “breadwinner” is gender neutral, so is “well manicured” and “good hygiene.”

I know that there are people out there that don’t do these things. That is exactly what I have a problem with. If we want to see equality, we have to behave like adults and take responsibility for the things that we have already agreed to be responsible for first. Let the politicians, lobbyists and activists worry about changing laws. The least we can do down here in the proverbial trenches of feminism is embody the advantages that we have because of them.


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